just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
