Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
