Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
