I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
