Don't you send me to vm
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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