we have pet lesbian snakes
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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