After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
it glows. i had to have it.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
