I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You need a sexual gate keeper
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
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