Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Randomize
