the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
