Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
kristin has been a bad kristin
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
