so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
