you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
