I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i out mim tonsoeep
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