The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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