All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
