where am i from again
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
