is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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