it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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