like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
