I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
