I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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