I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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