i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
