that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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