We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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