I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
