have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
