it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
