wrigley field is MILF paradise
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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