this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
