FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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