this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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