Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
