I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
