OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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