What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
