I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
