I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
