I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
