Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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