Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
