imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It's blow job season.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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