can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
How does one acquire holy water?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
