no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
