they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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