I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
