Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
