Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
