I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
